Somewhere Only We Know
by HeartsAndBones
Summary: It's hard to be open and real in the middle of a galactic war. Sometimes all we need is an escape, even if it's only for a moment. A four-part series on Han and Leia's relationship through the years.
1. Chapter 1

The party was over: the medals have been given out, all the cheers cheered, every song sang, morale was sky-high for the first time in a very, very long time. Leia should have been happy. She should have been celebrating with the rest of the rebels. After all, she played a huge role in the destruction of the Death Star. But no: Princess Leia Organa didn't feel much like celebrating at all. She smiled when Han winked at her, and she felt the beginnings of a crush on the man, even though he had enough ego for 3 Hutts. Luke gave her a hug and spun her around in his arms, which made her laugh. None of that really mattered at the moment.

Leia had just lost everything. _Everything_. Her family, her friends, most of her personal belongings, hells, she lost her entire home planet to Darth Vader. Stars, how she loathed that Sith. Just thinking about the moment she saw the explosion made her sick.

 _Don't be so selfish_ , she thought to herself, other people lost things, too. Which was true: almost all of their squadron didn't survive the mission; this wasn't the first costly victory. Anyone involved in the Rebel Alliance had lost someone or something dear to them in the war. Before the grief and anger consumed her, she resolved to escape the base compound so no one could see her break down. Leia was supposed to be the strong leader. What kind of strong leader fell apart after every battle? Enough was enough. Silently, she crept away from the base and walked in a random direction, unsure of where she was going or what she was looking for.

Back in the hangar, Luke was helping Han finish the last few repairs to the Millennium Falcon. Luke had grown to like Han, despite their rocky introduction on Tatooine, and didn't mind helping him fix up the ship. Not to mention Han more or less saved Luke's life in that final trench run…

"Didn't Leia say she was gonna come over here after the party?" Luke asked when he noticed the absence of his friend. Han perked up at the mention of her name.

"Yeah, she did, didn't she? Ah, whatever. You know how she can be," Han drawled while focusing intently on straightening out a stray antenna. As soon as the words left his mouth, he realized he might have overshot and came across as too harsh. He was trying his best to sound unaffected but he was secretly hoping she would show up. Unfortunately for him, Luke saw through his façade.

"You know, she just lost almost everything she's ever known in less than a day. I'm surprised she was even at the medal ceremony," Luke said. Han looked up form his work.

"Besides, if I were her, I would want to be alone right now. Might as well let her be," he continued. That made Han think: if he were a sad princess, where would he go to be alone? When no ideas came to mind, he asked himself a different question: where would he go if he wanted to be alone? Memories of a garden, an empty bit of wooded land, and other nature-filled places flooded his mind. As a boy, he often escaped to the lesser-populated parts of Corellia to decompress. It just so happened that the lesser-populated areas happened to be on the edge of the city, where there was still some wildlife left. Suddenly, an idea hit him. He threw down his tools and told Chewie to take over. Chewie wasn't too pleased, and growled his disapproval.

"Hey, I said I'll be back soon! Take it easy, it's only a busted antenna." Han pretend not to hear the colorful swears his co-pilot uttered after him. With any luck, Luke's Shyriiwook wouldn't be advanced enough to understand it.

Han walked out of the base as fast as he could without gathering attention. He gazed around and took off in a random direction, hoping for the best.

Leia arrived at a small clearing in the Yavin woods. What appeared to be a dried-up riverbed ran through the far edge of the clearing, and there were several fallen trees lying in a not-quite square shape. Leaves littered the ground; the only sound to be heard was a soft breeze. This would do just fine. She sat down, leaned her back against a downed tree, and expected tears to flood her eyes. When they didn't come, she was even more disappointed: she couldn't even cry to express her grief. Gently, she curled up and rested her forehead against her knees. Time to ignore the world.

Han loped through the woods, grumbling every time he tripped over a root or stepped in mud. _She has to be around here somewhere_ , he thought.

"Oh, princess? Oh, your highnessness?" he muttered to himself as he stumbled through the forest. It wasn't long until he found what he was searching for: a small figure, dressed in white, curled up in a ball against a tree trunk. A wry smile crept across his face. With a deep breath and a shake of his head, Han decided to try his hand at comforting Leia, as Luke suggested. Maybe some of that hocus-pocus magic Luke kept going on about would come through today. Softly, he approached her.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked tenderly. When Han's voice echoed in her ears, anger and happiness surged through her at the same, and she didn't know how to react. She froze. Slowly, Leia picked her head up to see her friend gently approaching her and kneeling next to her.

"Leave me alone," she said in the most menacing voice she could muster, even though she wasn't sure if she wanted to be left alone. She was thoroughly confused as to _why_ that moon jockey with an ego the size of a space freighter wanted to see if she way okay. Han ran a hand through his hair as he sat down next to her.

"I, uh, noticed you weren't around. That was some crazy stuff that happened back there. I just wanted to, you know, see if you were alright." Han surprised himself at how caring he could be when he tried.

"I'm fine," Leia said, "I just needed some time alone. I- I don't even know what to think. It's like I can't even feel anything at all. Just- totally numb."

Han nodded in response, careful not to open his mouth and ruin everything, as he was apt to do.

"Everything is gone. _Everything_." Leia's voice faltered on the last word. Yet, she still couldn't find any tears. For once, Han was speechless. What could he say in response to that?  
Leia's hand was resting on her knees, gripping so tightly her knuckles were turning white, and Han felt the need to do something, anything, so comfort the princess. He placed his hand over hers with as much softness as he could muster. It was a foreign sensation, comforting a distressed young woman, but he wasn't about to give up just yet. Leia instantly curled her fingers around his. Her digits laced between his much larger ones in a symbol of acceptance and friendship- and maybe the beginnings of something more.

Neither one of them felt the need to say anything. It wasn't awkward or weirdly tense, it was just _them_. No one was relying on them for direction, or to save the day. No battles or danger to escape. There were only two people, tired and hurt, and needing the other's company. Leia even surprised herself when she leaned into Han's embrace. She could stay like this forever, she decided. A feeling in her soul told her whatever was going on, it was good. It was right. Han didn't mind either: this was the best he'd felt in a very long time. He recognized the unidentifiable good feeling as well. The two stayed in the clearing, holding each other close, until the sun began to sink lower in the trees.

"It's getting late, princess. Want to head back?" Han asked quietly. Leia leaned up from the embrace.

"No. I think I'll stay here a little longer. I'll come back later."

"You better-" he paused to stand up and brush some leaves from his pants, "or I'll come looking for you!" Leia smiled genuinely for the first time that day.

"Go on, Captain Solo. I'll be back before dark." He began to walk away, when he heard her call out to him,

"Han?"

"Yes, your highnessness?" She rolled her eyes at his nickname for her.

"I'm glad you found me here. Seriously. Thank You." He gave a crooked smile.

"Anytime, Leia. At least now I'll know where to find you when you disappear."

And it was true: now they had somewhere to go that only they knew, like children with a secret hiding spot. Even though death and loss was everywhere, there was also something good coming to life within them.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been a long day. Granted, most days seemed much longer to Leia when Luke wasn't around. Luke had something about him that made her feel comfortable and safe. It was like she'd known him all her life, when she'd really only known him for a few weeks. He never deliberately tried to get on her nerves (unlike the other member of their trio), and he was always sweet to her, even though she wasn't entirely sure how she felt about him. Luke was her safe place, the closest thing she had to feeling like home. He was also gone to a backwater planet that she'd never heard of to search for a Jedi master.

Without Luke around, Han seemed even more belligerent than usual. The only times he wasn't making advances at Leia or trying to start trouble was when he was asleep, or eating. There seemed to be no end to Han's capacity to get on her nerves. Han, however, saw Luke's absence as a break in the competition for the princess. He tried everything in his power to make sure he was always on her mind; whether or not she thought of him favorably was a different story. After a failed flirting attempt ending with Leia shouting, "Leave me alone, you dim-witted bantha!" Han needed a break to mend his pride. He knew just the place.

Blind memory took him down the path to the clearing. Same fallen trees, same leaves covering the ground. He decided it was the perfect place for a drink, so he pulled out a flask of Corellian whiskey he kept in his vest, cracked the lid off, and knocked back a mouthful. _Stars_ , he thought, _I needed this_. Han was no alcoholic, but a bit of alone time and a sip of liquor never failed to calm his nerves. He listened to the quiet breeze rush through the clearing and sighed with content.

Leia felt a little bad about how harshly she treated Han earlier. Even though she didn't want to succumb to his advances, she still wanted to be his friend. _Perhaps an apology is in order_ , she thought, so she began looking around him around the base. No luck in the usual places: the Falcon, the kitchen, the meeting rooms. She was about to give up when she remembered the one place she hadn't looked.

The sound of a twig snapping pulled Han out of his half-asleep daze. Was someone coming? He hoped it wasn't a general; imagining how great it would look to find him almost asleep in the woods, by himself, flask of liquor in hand. Gingerly, he looked up to find not a general, but the princess herself. His eyes lit up.

"Well, well, well. Look who we have here," he drawled, crossing his arms.

"I had a feeling you'd be here- wait, what's that?" Leia questioned as she spotted something shiny and rectangular in his hand. He tried to shove it back in his vest pocket, but he was too slow: Leia pounced on him and wrestled the flask out of his hand. Well, Han _let_ her wrestle the flask out of his hand.

"Captain Solo!" she feigned shock, "I would have never guessed that a fine, upstanding man like you would go out into the woods to drink himself into a stupor." She held the flask closer to her nose in an effort to figure out what was in it.

"Calm down, your worshipfulness, it's not even enough to affect me. _I_ can hold my liquor, princess," he teased back. He expected a snort or laugh in response. He did not expect Leia to take a gulp from his flask without a moment's hesitation. She winced as she swallowed, the liquid burning her throat, but enjoyed the sweet, warming sensation it left in her mouth.

"Impressive," he said, taking back his liquor for another swig. This time she laughed. _That laugh_ , he thought. It always got to him. Han thought the sound of Leia's laugh was one of the purest things in the galaxy, though he would never admit it. Leia took another drink, then passed it back, and they shared until they ran out of whiskey.

"I miss Luke," Leia blurted into the silence. She wasn't drunk, not really, just a little giddy. Han's stomach sank at her words

"Of course you do," he countered.

"And what exactly does that mean, captain?"

"It means I know you'd rather hang out with him. You have to be drunk to want to spend time with me." Han's words hit Leia to the core. Did he really think she disliked him that much?

"Oh, Han," she murmured, running a gentle hand along his cheek, "that's not true! Luke is just, I don't know, different. We get along on some level I can't describe. It's deep stuff. But that doesn't mean I don't like you."

"Could have fooled me the way you shouted at me earlier," Han said under his breath. Leia hopped up on her knees to look him in the eyes.

"Look, I was annoyed, but I didn't mean to lose my temper like that-"

"What was it you called me, a 'dim-witted son of a bantha?'" he joked, unable to keep the smirk off his face. Leia giggled more than she should have and wobbled a bit, which prompted Han to grab her by the waist to steady her. He left his hands there to see if she would slap them away. When she didn't, he carefully pulled her close to him so she was sitting beside him with his arm securely wrapped around her. He smiled up to the stars.

"Actually, it was just 'dim-witted bantha,' but I think I like 'son of a bantha' even more," she said with another laugh. Han shook his head as he chuckled.

"Why do you tease me like this?" he asked as he squeezed her tighter. "Why do you act so mean and then get all friendly? Is that what princesses do for fun?" Leia gave him a shocked expression.

"I do not! I just react to how you treat me, that's all," she said matter-of-factly. Han just sighed and returned to savoring the feeling of the girl in his arms.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, you know. I haven't exactly been in the best state of mind recently," Leia added in a small voice. _She's right_ , Han thought. After their first encounter in the clearing, he learned just how much she was going through. If she could barely keep herself functioning, how could she carry on an affair? Han resigned himself to wait a little longer. If it was any other girl, he would have moved right on at the slightest sign of emotional turmoil, but Leia was not like any other girl. She was headstrong and smart, stunningly beautiful, and never hesitated to speak her mind. He was willing to bide his time being just friends. He even made a mental note to scale back some of the flirting. At least, for now.

Leia hummed with contentment at the feeling of being held by Han. Shouldn't she be resisting this? She decided she didn't care; if she had to, she would blame the alcohol. The mystery of "who is Han Solo?" was beginning to unravel for Leia. The more time she spent with him, the more she learned, and the more she realized she actually did kind of like him.

Neither of them felt the need to say a word. It wasn't necessary in their little world. They let their warm embrace do all the talking as dusk settled into the clearing and dimmed the surroundings into shades of muted gray.


End file.
